This is such an interesting topic to study. According to my friend who is a counselor, “We are only as healthy as the secrets we keep.” I have experienced the disclosure of a 53-year-old family secret. I found out I had a brother who was given up at birth by my parents. The secret was so difficult that my parents never discussed it one time during their marriage. Some experiences are buried under a mountain of shame. They get locked away in a deep dark place that never gets the light!
Carl Rogers is the founder of client-centered therapy. He believed that the majority of people with psychological difficulties are afraid. They fear letting their feelings be known. His studies indicate anxiety stems from parents, teachers, and adults who made you feel deficient as a child. That anxiety leads to the tendency to hold back from letting others know your true self. This is part of the reason talk therapy can be beneficial. Offering a safe space and encouraging a person toward full self-disclosure can reveal the root cause of the anxiety.
People tell me all kinds of secrets. Some say they have never shared their story with another person. This is a great honor and an exchange of energy I see as sacred. I also observe the delicate balance between under-sharing and over-sharing (tee hee). How do you know when and how much to share about yourself? To complicate matters even more, some do not respond well to this level of intimacy. Let’s keep it simple with a whisper on self-disclosure.
A special bond develops over time. Establishing the heart connection opens the door to self-disclosure. If that door opens too soon or stays closed for too long, the opportunity is forsaken. Timing is an essential ingredient to self-disclosure, which means using your gifts. Body language, tone, demeanor, and attitude contribute to your intuitive assessment.
Sharing personal information is a boundary issue requiring the utmost discernment. A first-time meeting with a stranger is not the time for unfiltered disclosures. Attraction can be mistaken for trust. Revealing too much information before the bond is strong could cause the relationship to suffer. Knowing the person beyond the initial sense of attraction leads to a better outcome.
Small amounts of self-disclosure can lead to understanding. Honesty is usually met with more honesty. It’s easier to relate to a person’s stress or agitation if you know something is bothering them. When a person withdraws, they often generate feelings that lead to further isolation. Mood adds to the complexity of self-disclosure.
Self-disclosure to a professional gives the language needed to express the true self. Uncoupling from the burdens of life lifts the spirit when done in a way that empowers. Use your instinct, intuition, and guidance to have the best experience with self-disclosure. Know the people in your life whose heart connects with yours. Create a judgment-free zone for others, and you will find one for yourself. Sharing is putting your heart in the hands of another. Treat your heart with the greatest of care by self-disclosing with self-awareness.
Bring joy, ease suffering and create beauty, then dance like you mean it!
Blessings, Russell
“It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy;—it is disposition alone. Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other, and seven days are more than enough for others.”
Jane Austen
Meditation PLAYLISTs added to monthly member library! An example is how to reduce anxiety or improve your intuitive skills. Specific meditations from the entire library are recommended and put into a playlist.
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