Dichotomy is a division or contrast between two things represented as completely opposite. We humans can be pulled into thinking things are either black or white. Comparing opposites can lead to having a rigid perspective on life. I observed this type of thinking while having a discussion with my son. His memories of childhood events did not entirely match mine! (tee hee)
Researchers have linked dichotomous thinking to negative psychological outcomes. To evaluate another person by using opposing standards can negatively impact the relationship. Those who think dichotomously tend to undervalue others through perceived negative aspects. Putting things in a category of either good or bad leaves no room for other possibilities. Inflexibility can lead to perfectionism or critical judgments of life and other people.
My son believes that behavior is pre-determined by DNA established by past experiences. Therefore, change was not possible with him or his children. The belief that traits are ‘fixed’ is also called ‘entity theory’ or stereotyping. Studying this type of thinking helped me understand why he has a hard time relating to others. What looks like self-centeredness could actually be dichotomous thinking. But the thing that struck me is how hard it can be to remain positive when your thoughts are so limited. My experience tells me that things are rarely as simple as black or white. Let’s enter the gray area of a whisper on dichotomy:
To put things in perspective, using a contrast can be helpful. Thinking is influenced by past experiences, but not entirely responsible for behavior. Environment plays a critical role. Attitudes and beliefs are formed over a lifetime. A negativity bias is easily formed as a control mechanism when life is seen through the lens of diametric opposition.
Dichotomous thinking is a way of arranging life experiences into a category of either good or bad. Patterns of behavior align with the propensity to view life as all or nothing. Such mental arrangements can be a sign of personality disorders or narcissism. Decision-making is affected when one is pulled to decide between polar opposites. Paralysis can occur with dichotomous thinking due to the stress or unpredictability of holding such rigid views.
Altering reality through cognitive distortion is common with dichotomous thinking. The human brain takes past situations and alters what really happened. Such activity is an attempt to simplify and reduce the impact of stress. Subtle variations in the thought process can boost self-esteem as the mind tries to correct the past by favoring victim mentality. To reflect on past failures when you believe you were doing no wrong can become a form of self-punishment. Believing you’re a failure is a point of major resistance to self-improvement.
Angry outbursts can be a sign of lacking any objective outlook on the truth. Loosen the grip on the mind by accepting there might be a gray area in which to operate. Step back and process your feelings to become aware of mental distortions. Develop better problem-solving skills with encouraging, positive self-talk as a form of compassion and love for self.
Bring joy, ease suffering and create beauty, then dance like you mean it!
Blessings, Russell
“I continue to live inside a dichotomy: what was and what shall be. The pain in my skull is me trying to mesh the two.”
― Chila Woychik
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