My friend recently returned from a 3-week vacation. They had plenty of time to settle into a life experience that was out of the ordinary. I’m not saying my friend leads an ordinary life. According to his description, the trip allowed him and his wife to experience life outside their normal routine. Doing so was part of a teaching he referred to as distinction. Distinction refers to a difference between two things or people. It is the act of perceiving things as not the same.
Life offers a menu full of choices. In a recent study, people were given a choice. In exchange for one Hershey Kiss, they could describe their greatest success in life. But for three Hershey Kisses, they would describe their three biggest failures! Two thirds of the study group chose to get three. There is a distinction bias when considering options. Three chocolate candies would seem to make you happier than only one. Talking about your failures, though, might disturb your chocolate bliss (tee hee).
Our brains can be tricked by desires when making a distinction. You might assume that a higher-paying job would be certain to make you happier. But what if the work is boring? Some might think that buying a bigger house would lead to a better life. But what if the neighbors are bothersome? Sometimes we have to step back from our routines to get a clear distinction. That’s what vacations are for. Our qualitative analysis might be missing the mark when it comes to making decisions. Let’s aim for a deeper distinction through a whisper from spirit on the subject:
Making a distinction is not taking action, so there is no experience until after you have made a decision. To avoid the distinction bias, clarity is needed to understand differences. Writing down what really matters can bring that clarity. If you could experience the new job, the new location, or new home, your feelings would guide the process. Bias is also limited when focused on one thing at a time.
Happiness is better achieved through living with stability and security. Your state of being will adjust to create stability where uncertainty erodes happiness. Infrequent events, such as a vacation or time with a friend, leave little time for adaptation. Experience away from routine can be beneficial by offering a fresh perspective.
When forming an opinion, it is natural for sensitive beings to seek optimization. This is a learned process with deep roots related to survival. Understanding the differences in people and things leads to greater self-awareness. From a higher level of perspective, you won’t easily leap to conclusions.
An honest assessment occurs with balanced energy between the heart and the mind. With a grounded and centered heart, the Mind’s Eye is able to see the big picture. Your heart holds a form of intelligence far superior to the mind. The lure of a short-term reward can trick the mind into making a false assumption. If you think you have strayed off your path, perhaps you are being guided toward distinction. Don’t be afraid to explore what opposes the normal thought patterns as a way to expand into your future with greater discernment.
Bring joy, ease suffering and create beauty, then dance like you mean it!
Blessings, Russell
“That means that every human being – without distinction of sex, age, race, skin color, language, religion, political view, or national or social origin – possesses an inalienable and untouchable dignity.”
Hans Kung
