After getting into a debate over the meaning of intimacy, I decided to write a whisper. When searching for a definition, I found the reason for debate. The meaning of the word that resonated came from the National Institutes of Health. Intimacy is the quality of a relationship in which individuals have reciprocal feelings of trust. It is the willingness to share yourself with another person. If a friend told you they were intimate with their partner last night, would you think they had sex? Or would you think they might have experienced a deep connected moment without sex? Intimacy is not sex, which is the basis for the argument mentioned above (tee hee).
You can have sex without intimacy and intimacy without sex. You are not alone if uncertain about the meaning of intimacy. Intimacy occurs when one person is willing to be vulnerable. They allow another person to know them in a way that requires taking a risk. Basically, you are willing to be seen so that you can be known. It is a very scary proposition, especially to those who have suffered abuse or neglect.
Vulnerability often comes from a place of desperation. We all want to feel a connection and to be understood. It’s the fear of rejection and ridicule that leads to silence when the opportunity to be intimate occurs. Intimacy is familiarity usually developed over time through warmth and association. Deep levels of sharing from the heart are also found in the whispers of spirit. This means that a practice of sharing begins with self-trust. It’s time to share as we listen together for a whisper on intimacy:
Intimacy is sharing your soul with another. During an act of connecting, a witness can help with a broad range of interactive experiences. The feeling of support and understanding is one positive benefit. That feeling leads to higher levels of self-esteem. Being intimate depends on releasing the illusion of protection. Letting go of fear opens the door to the heart, where vulnerability shines a light on inner truth.
Trust is an energy of the heart, as is ego. The two must coexist in harmony for self-expression to blossom. As represented by the thousand-petal lotus flower, enlightenment is a feature of the Crown Chakra. Yet the heart is the true center of the spiritual enlightenment that emerges through inner expression. An open heart precedes an open mind, where subconscious information is processed to create supreme consciousness.
Isolation helps form the feeling of safety. Intimacy upsets the illusion of external safety with the awareness that inner safety was always available. There is a natural beauty that exists in every soul. That beauty is waiting to be seen. A witness is the outside observer of that beauty and can let it be known in a moment of intimacy.
Character developed over a lifetime is not fully realized until it is revealed by intimacy. Resistance to intimacy is linked to survival, which is the function of ego. A process of freedom from attachments dismantles the ego. Love without condition is allowing everyone to fully express themselves. Reaching higher levels of intimacy is removing conditions on love by yourself and others. Be brave and express your feelings to illuminate your inner beauty.
Bring joy, ease suffering and create beauty, then dance like you mean it!
Blessings, Russell
“Intimacy is the capacity to be rather weird with someone – and finding that that’s ok with them.”
Alain de Botton
Is this card for you?
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