I was hurting for another person when my protective nature charged into action. Witnessing the neglect and frustration motivated me to speak up for my partner. I lashed out with some hurtful language of my own and sent the text. I said something I didn’t really believe as a way to get their attention. A part of me thought it would be received as a joke because it isn’t in my personality to lash out in such a way. There was a playful aspect in my attempt to wake them up to the damage that was their responsibility.
It seemed like my words had little impact, but turns out they never read my text (tee hee). When I apologized, they exploded with anger. I carefully explained myself and apologized repeatedly. In the vein of making amends, I started a few projects with this person designed to earn trust. We worked together, and I thought the conflict was resolved. Almost a year later, I find that this person still harbors ill feelings. It turns out my apology was not accepted. As a “fixer”, I am at a loss as to how to balance the relationship. If I keep apologizing, things could get worse. I don’t want to be overly aggressive or sound insincere.
This person is expressing from their pain, and I want to offer compassion. Their choice to not accept my apology tells me there is more beneath the surface. I was resolved, while they carried around a type of secret conflict. I thought we were good after so many months. The time, energy, and money spent to rectify the situation weren’t as big as the wound they carried. The inquiry is growing, so it must be time for a whisper on someone rejecting my apology.
When your apology is not accepted, it’s time to step back. Become the observer who is unattached to the situation. If you can look from a neutral space, it becomes easier to understand the nuances of human behavior. Sometimes you can’t talk your way out of a moment of aggressive behavior. Actions will demonstrate the position of truth that comes from your heart.
Stepping back from conflict allows room for compassion. Allowing emotions to be expressed is the best way to reach understanding. Perhaps you have overlooked something in the relationship that needs your attention? Say someone just had shoulder surgery and you rushed in to give them a hug. As gentle as you may be with your touch, the slightest movement could cause that person a great deal of pain. While not the cause of discomfort, your touch brought their pain to full expression.
Wounds that people carry are not always as obvious as recovery from a surgery or accident. If someone refuses to share deep-seated emotions around past wounds, an innocent expression could trigger a harsh response. Suppressed emotions can prevent or block one’s ability to receive an apology. Stepping back allows for understanding. They may not be ready to accept an apology for many reasons. Most would not apply to you at all.
Given some time, a new strategy could emerge. An apology that is not accepted means it’s time for communication to change. A new approach is needed to get the desired result. It’s time for love to lead the relationship toward a deeper connection. Your primary goal is to seek their willingness for a balanced relationship. If nothings accepted, your secondary goal is letting go.
Bring joy, ease suffering and create beauty, then dance like you mean it!
Blessings, Russell
“I ponder the rhythms of letting go and embracing whatever is around the corner, trusting that the empty spaces will be filled. And knowing that sometimes community can happen only in the gaps where mystery resides.” Joyce Hollyday
Want an Experience?
Do you want to learn how to to see auras? The 4.1 Multidimensional Bodies might be for you.
Are you interested in learning how to grow your intuitive senses? The 1.2 Archangels and Ascended Masters will show you a fun way to experience your gifts.
Have you ever been interested in a past-life experience? The 5.2 on Past Lives has an exercise designed with this in mind.
Start your new journey today at the IEL Institute for the Spiritual Arts. Years in the making, the comprehensive material is available for one low monthly price. In gratitude, Russell and Beckie
