I was blindsided by a recent comment made by one of my children. During the course of what seemed like a routine discussion, he asked, “For once, will you stand up for me?” I was so taken aback, I didn’t even respond. A part of me thought the question didn’t deserve an answer. My true belief is that I have spent a good part of his life standing up for him.
To stand for someone means to speak up, support, and defend that person. The tricky part is whether you are standing up for them or for yourself. In my youth, standing up for someone was connected to the values of honesty, justice, and truth. In today’s world, it seems we are being asked to stand for someone else’s agenda. Somehow we have transformed to a society that has entered the age of entitlement. Judgment and behavior are guided by self-interest rather than values. Instead of standing up for someone based on virtues, we are often asked to defend them for the way they think.
If I ignore my own values to defend another, I become vulnerable to guilt and shame. I lose compassions for myself. As far as my children, I have realized they never actually see me defending them. How would they know I’m their biggest defender? Not knowing could contribute to their feeling powerless to the point of overreacting. The stronger the threat, the more anger and resentment become part of the defense. How can I stand up for someone if I lose myself in the process? That feels like joining the angry mob (tee hee). Questions are building, which means it’s time for a whisper on standing up for someone:
When uncertain of taking a position to advocate for yourself or others, a lack of clarity exists. You must understand Your own values at times when expression is calling you to take a stand. Clarity comes from taking inventory of the values that are the most meaningful. Taking a stand helps develop values through a sense of self-awareness. It’s one way to say you care.
Feeling driven to express moral convictions will compel you to take a position. With a willingness to face adversity, courage will replace fear. A strong desire to create change will support taking a position. Discovering the ability to convey a message is a key to empowerment, but not without risk. Isolation, anxiety, or group disapproval can be the backlash for speaking up. Leadership is not always a choice, as some are pulled into a position of influence.
Opposition should not be used solely for the sake of rejecting authority. Disagreement can be a positive factor in deepening relationships, including that with yourself. When things are left undone or words unsaid, the challenge of letting go begins. Carefully express your identity with conscious consideration for any consequences. Even in disagreement, find the common ground.
Behavior motivated by emotions and self-serving ideology can oppose long-term wellbeing. Beneath the surface of outward expression is the issue of boundaries. To know the line that shall not be crossed, you need to understand clear choices. Taking a stand is a learning experience. Mental strength, wisdom, and a sense of belonging are some of the benefits of social engagement. Love is always expressed in the same breath as truth and justice.
Bring joy, ease suffering and create beauty, then dance like you mean it!
Blessings, Russell
“Never be afraid to raise your voice for honesty and truth and compassion against injustice and lying and greed. If people all over the world would do this, it would change the earth.”
William Faulkner
Is this card for you?
Have you ever felt those gentle whispers from the spirit realm and found yourself pondering their meaning? Was it an angel reaching out, or perhaps the guiding presence of an ancestor or spirit guide? These subtle messages often carry profound significance, revealing insights that can illuminate your path.
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