Endings matter! Like most of you, over that last few years I have experienced some serious endings. Life has changed and there’s no going back! Most might agree that endings are hard because they demand we let go. Endings are important because they shape our memory. I question how personal evolution relates to how we function during endings.
Nobelist Daniel Kahneman has spent a lifetime exploring the quirks of human judgment. He found that memories of experiences are disproportionately colored by the ending. His peak-end rule establishes that the way an experience ends dictates what we take away from the entire thing. Researchers have also made discoveries through magnetic resonance imaging of the brain. The area of the brain that deals with rejection also deals with physical pain.
I was in session with a person who was having a hard time breaking free from a relationship. The whispers included guidance on setting up an exit interview with their partner. (tee hee) Of course, they would not use that term when setting up a meeting. It sounded so counter-intuitive, I knew it wasn’t coming from me. The more I pondered the message, the more I thought it was brilliant. To talk about what went wrong helps the process of learning and accountability. Let’s get a little more information on endings from a source of brilliance:
The beginning, the middle, and the end are all stages that give order to the story of the soul. Without all three, there is chaotic energy. When the mind keeps replaying the story that has no end, your spirit is working to grab your attention. The part of the brain that deals with pain is also part of the spirit’s alert system. You are getting the signal that important events are playing out. Endings provide the opportunity to move forward with good memories.
It’s difficult to learn and grow from your comfort zone. Unresolved conflict creates energy that ricochets through the system, stirring up emotional chaos. When facing endings with conscious awareness, emotional chaos may exist at the time. Once complete, resolution turns the energy toward a higher order to ease learning. The result is adaptation to the loss and greater sense of self.
A healthy completion may be difficult because you are detangling the energy. Freedom from entanglement contributes to happiness, fulfillment, and the goal of finding love. Life is one big experiment in search of the good things that bring pleasure. Cognitive appraisal of the experience brings gratitude through acknowledgment. With self-evaluation, positive meaning in life can be a product of the most difficult ending.
Anxiety is not knowing. It is a vibration that fills the energy channels to create more confusion. Things left unsaid give room for hope on one side, but contribute to loss of identity on the other. The ground becomes shifting sand beneath the feet of both. Learn to speak your truth with those who are willing to listen. Communicate with the utmost honesty. When uncertainty prevails, you are being asked to pay attention to your own evolution.
Bring joy, ease suffering and create beauty, then dance like you mean it!
Blessings, Russell
“The end defines one chapter in the book of your life. Rejoice in the beauty of the experience by refusing to pass judgment on your personal evolution!” Russell
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