This past weekend, I experienced a high level of disrespect directed at me from someone I love. If you want to dis someone, then exhibit some rude behavior, act unimpressed, or elevate your own self-importance to a level that makes you far superior! Add some arrogance with a pinch of aggression, and violà, you have all the ingredients for disrespectful behavior. (tee hee)
An international team of scientists found that being treated disrespectfully leads to the development of cynical beliefs about human nature. Expressing cynical beliefs about human nature attracts more disrespect. Being treated with disrespect leads to more cynical beliefs. Sounds like a family gathering with topics being discussed like politics, vaccines, and religion? The scientific studies included more than 50,000 people and a small group of 462 diaries.
Social Psychologist and study coordinator Daniel Ehlebracht remarked, When people are treated disrespectfully by others, they often tend to generalize their negative experiences and unwarrantedly consider other people to be immoral, unfair, and selfish in general. However, such a distorted image of humanity can paradoxically lead to provoking renewed bad experiences with other people and also to a tendency to treat others badly.
People behave disrespectfully due to low self-esteem. They are trying to hide their insecurity and are often scared, so they tend to look big and tough. The aggressor could be blind to their behavior, angry in general, or both. Time for a deep breath to hear and respect the sacred whispers from spirit on disrespect:
Humans have become conditioned in a way that dulls the senses. Disrespectful behavior has been glorified as strength of character to the point of becoming a familiar pattern in a cycle of abuse. Familiarity can be a major influence to keep the relationship intact at all costs. Sensitive individuals will take measures to avoid the discomfort of an unpleasant experience. The result is conditioning as the biggest reason to tolerate unkind words, mean people, disrespectful behavior, cynical beliefs, and unhealthy habitual cycles of aggression.
Many people are blind to the truth of their behavior, which creates experiencing life in a bubble of denial. When a person’s reality is distorted, self-awareness is almost impossible to achieve. This is especially true when burdened by low self-esteem, insecurity, and a cynical view of humanity. Under the weight of disrespect, many people withdraw into sadness, isolation, shame, fear, self-doubt, and depression. These lower emotions can lead to physical manifestations of nausea, insomnia, fatigue, and hypertension.
Disrespectful behavior is de-escalated when you remain calm and offer a few words of kindness. It’s difficult to avoid defensiveness when facing aggression. If you’re feeling called to defend or react with more disrespect, take that as a sign you need time to assess and calm down. Addressing the behavior can bring you back to the conversation, but moving the subject further along might require asking the other person what they need. This vital information can be used to find resolution and stop the cycle of disrespect. Positive reinforcement might not stop the aggression, but it can help you with better health through establishment of healthy boundaries and the avoidance of escalation. You have the power to stop the cycle. Now that’s love!
Bring joy, ease suffering and create beauty, then dance like you mean it!
Blessings, Russell
“Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare.”
Brené Brown
