The other day, I jumped to a conclusion and immediately took action. Under most circumstances my approach might have been admirable. But in the end, I was dead wrong. Since I had already fired off an email telling the head honcho all the mistakes I had made, I found myself in a bit of shame. My overreaction had set off alarm bells that affected many people. It was up to me to admit my shortcomings without delay.
After asking for some divine help and sitting with the error overnight, it came to me. I was guided to make a list of all my excuses. I had no idea how creative that would become. Every item I added to the list sparked more outrageous excuses! In no time, I had a list of ten different excuses. They ranged from a newly diagnosed case of ingraphicacy (can’t read maps) to age-related cognitive decline. (tee hee). It wasn’t long before I realized the entire process was cathartic. Opening to my own emotions around making a mistake led to quite a bit of psychological relief.
The more creative my excuse, the better I was able to laugh at myself. It took the harsh ego judgment and threw it out the window. Not only that, the people involved got an email with an admission of guilt and my list. They were able to shrug it off with my comical spin and even empathize with me! As an optimizer, I can be hard on myself. This guided approach to admitting a mistake was a lesson I will carry with me into the future. Let’s get a whisper on making excuses:
Making excuses can be a way of mitigating personal responsibility. Some will have a negative reaction as a result. If there is a sense of trying to escape feeling discomfort over admitting a shortcoming, an excuse may not be well received. A behavior model of failing to accept responsibility can become a repeating pattern.
Some transgressions cannot be simply explained away. Excuses threaten self-esteem if there is a notion of negligence. Blame can be shifted when appropriate, but any type of failure must be seen through the eyes of truth. If there is a history of failing to meet a standard, any excuse might be met with a negative reaction.
Excuse-making is sometimes a conscious or unconscious attempt at manipulation. Rationalizing a wrongdoing can be a way of managing the emotions of others. Trying to control the outcome doesn’t lessen the offense. If the excuse is the denial or distortion of the truth, human energy can pull back to create disengagement. A reversal of the energy inhibits the benefit of an open response.
Admitting there’s no excuse means the blame has been accepted and there’s no need to belabor the point. This approach could bring empathy, forgiveness, and acceptance by all. The ego will always try to defend, so the more playful approach can dismantle the conflict energy. Making a list of excuses heightens awareness and lowers defenses to acceptance of responsibility. Asking for guidance and support will open channels to discovering the truth in any situation.
Bring joy, ease suffering and create beauty, then dance like you mean it!
Blessings, Russell
“At the end of the day, let there be no excuses, no explanations, no regrets.”
Steve Maraboli
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