After the tragic loss of our granddaughter last month, I became furious. I spoke of that anger in her eulogy as someone in need of Alyssa’s help to show me the love that would help soften my edges. My normal routine when something is bothering me is to study, write, then repeat. What I learned is that anger is one of the most misunderstood emotions, often leading to dysfunctional behavior. I observe a significant amount of spiritual bypassing with many around the subject of anger, and most people believe it is wrong or harmful to feel and express anger.
According to researchers, anger has been tagged a negative emotion. What if Martin Luther King Jr. had never expressed it, or no one ever spoke up for injustice because it isn’t nice to be angry? Anger is a normal, healthy emotion, yet it can be very confusing. Anger itself is not unhealthy, but the way we express it can be detrimental. Anger can evoke a physiological response, too; it’s not just a mental emotion. Anger is a full body, mind, and spirit emotion, which is another reason why it is so powerful.
Researchers also discovered that releasing pent-up rage by hitting your pillow and screaming actually has the opposite effect and can make you feel worse (although some feel it is beneficial). Ignoring or suppressing anger doesn’t help either. Suppressed anger can lead to mental health issues, depression, and hypertension. It’s a myth that men are angrier than women. Men are more aggressive with their expression, where women may be more indirect or measured with their approach. Anger and the constructive or destructive ways to deal with this essential emotion all funnel down to how you express yourself. Let’s face it with a whisper from an angel on the subject.
The best way to approach anger is to become more aware of the subtle nuances around this powerful emotion. Are you really feeling frustrated, disappointed, bitter, abused, or afraid? Is anger the manifestation of something far below the surface of anything current? As a child, most are conditioned to avoid anger, and a deep-seated energy developed. Expressing that energy without a violent outburst is a learned response that requires great understanding, patience, and tolerance. The first step is to accept your feelings and emotions as real and perhaps valid.
Take some deep, calming breaths to avoid the tendency toward aggression or negative behavior. Inquire from within the source of your anger in order to understand your feelings. Think of anger as an energy that can be channeled in healthy and constructive ways. Find those healthy expressions. You may need to have experiences that provide proof of your abilities to accomplish such a task. Transformation begins with a high level of awareness of your feelings, and concludes with the satisfaction of well-expressed results from your thoughts and actions.
Anger is a valuable emotion when expressed and organized toward a higher vision or goal. The aim of the soul is to experience growth, and there is no better vehicle. When channeled into brilliant solutions and creative strategies, anger can be your friend. Unlike the demotivating power of depression, anger is electric and full of fire. Use the power source to your advantage and you will come to know how this emotion can help you with accomplishments that hold value beyond your imagination or expectations. Do not avoid a resource that can propel you toward higher levels of self-awareness to claim your power and your voice.
Bring joy, ease suffering and create beauty, then dance like you mean it!
Blessings, Russell
“Forget what hurt you in the past, but never forget what it taught you. However, if it taught you to hold onto grudges, seek revenge, not forgive or show compassion, to categorize people as good or bad, to distrust and be guarded with your feelings then you didn’t learn a thing. God doesn’t bring you lessons to close your heart. He brings you lessons to open it, by developing compassion, learning to listen, seeking to understand instead of speculating, practicing empathy and developing conflict resolution through communication. If he brought you perfect people, how would you ever learn to spiritually evolve?”
Shannon L. Alder
