Most people in my circle are stellar when it comes to giving, yet supremely challenged with opening the heart to receiving. It feels good to give, but ask for help or receive a compliment and the wall comes up! (tee hee) Opening the heart to receive love is not as easy as it may sound. Why is it so difficult to receive help or a kind gesture? Receiving help can bring a sense of shame or guilt or the feeling of being flawed. “What’s wrong with me and why do I need help?” “I don’t want to be a bother to anyone.” “I did nothing to deserve this.” The best example is how many people receive an unexpected Christmas gift and feel an immediate need to find a gift for that person.
Balance is achieved when both giving and receiving are equal. Anyone who has experienced trauma, separation, or abuse connected to a beloved is more likely to close their heart for protection. Mother and father issues that follow a child into adulthood generally stem from one of three conditions; poor performance by the parent; emotional, physical, or psychological abuse; or disrespect from one parent toward the other. These conditions can start lifelong issues with opening the heart. An open heart means you are emotionally available. Let’s become emotionally available to a whisper from spirit on the art of receiving:
The importance of receiving love and kindness cannot be overstated. The energy of love flowing through the heart (Heart Chakra) connects to expressions of life (Throat Chakra) and feelings or emotional reactions to current conditions (Solar Plexus). When one area is blocked, healing and the ability to thrive to your greater potential are inhibited.
Shame is the result of complex emotions woven together and stitched by life experiences. Often buried in the subconscious, patterns become established related to a shame or guilt that remains in the system. A pattern of behavior related to protecting the heart emerges from the heart energies of trust, masculine and feminine balance, ego, and love. With a protective shield in place, the heart cannot flow equal measures of love in the areas of giving and receiving.
Your attitude toward life determines life’s attitude toward you. Be the observer and notice what happens inside when you’re offered some kindness. Does the internal dialogue go to a place that says I don’t need anyone or anything? Can you sense a discomfort with receiving? Is a feeling of resistance taking form? The observer inside can recognize subtle emotions that lead to the awareness that illuminates what is being held in the subconscious.
Like any artistic expression, devotion is needed to hone a craft. The gift of giving grows stronger with practice. Receiving requires the same attention and self-awareness. Adopt the focus of accepting kindness in all forms as a spiritual practice. Receive without any emotion other than total acceptance. Half of all receiving come from within, so any practice must include the self. Equal measures of self-love in response to any life situation will yield immediate benefits.
Bring joy, ease suffering and create beauty, then dance like you mean it!
“Giving without expectation leads to receiving without limitation.”
― Charles F. Glassman