One subscriber writes for a whisper on ulterior motives, as someone close to them expressed the opinion that everybody has them. What a perfect example already! (tee hee) Ulterior Motives are about the interface between motivation and thinking. Your goals have a huge influence on your behavior. The active goals that you have also influence your emotions, which in turn affect your preferences and thinking. (Art Markman Ph.D. Psychology Today)
Let’s say you re-post an article on social media that consists of an interview containing sharp criticism toward a political ideology. Then your friend, who shares the ideology you oppose, makes the critical leap that you are disrespecting their opinion. You believe you did nothing but post an article with no intention to communicate any disrespect to a relationship you love and honor. Jonathan Baron and his colleagues at the University of Pennsylvania dubbed this tendency to blame outcomes on actions rather than inactions “the omission bias”.
Another example would be when your partner asks you to stop by the store on the way home and pick up some groceries needed for dinner. You arrive at home having forgotten to make the stop, which leads to an argument. If you simply forgot, then you are facing the heat due to omission. On the other hand, if you thought it was their responsibility and you resented being asked, the failure to stop at the store had an ulterior motive. Let’s get a whisper on ulterior motives:
Ulterior motives cover a wide range of study related to cognitive behavior and human nature. Emotions supporting behaviors that lead to action or inaction can contain an ulterior motive. Any relationship can experience challenges when motives are self-centered. A person can sense intentional harm when their motives are questioned.
Any healthy partnership or union should start with communicating intentions and goals in order to achieve complete clarity around motives. Without clarity, there can only be assumptions that lead to a distorted reality. A person’s needs are rarely met by those around them, especially when they are not communicated. If the reason for being in a relationship carries primary goals related to financial security, for example, the emotional needs of the other person might not be met. Unspoken differences with individual goals and intentions can bring misalignment, misunderstandings, and misbehavior. When motives are communicated but needs are not met, relationships can still thrive due to reaching a deeper level of intimacy and understanding.
When intentions are clearly defined and agreed upon, people can work together to create strategies and solutions to the problems they face in life. People working together at the deepest levels can know in their hearts that the other person did not intend harm because they are clear about the motives. If a person doesn’t know what motive lives in their heart, they can only communicate from their mind what they think they should feel versus what they really feel. The result is omission bias. Confusion, miscommunication, and a lack of understanding create the projection of an ulterior motive at work.
Take the time to fully understand what motivates another person before reaching any conclusion and you will bring peace and harmony through truly knowing another soul.
Bring joy, ease suffering and create beauty, then dance like you mean it!
Blessings, Russell
It is when we act freely, for the sake of the action itself rather than for ulterior motives, that we learn to become more than what we were.
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
